Bloodshot Cinema

The minor ramblings of a man with nothing better to do with his life but watch crap in the comfort of his own home.

Saturday, July 22, 2006

I've been too busy with school lately but I'm watching Little Man today. Screw the haters.

Also, I finally got to watch Annie Hall for the first time. Truly an incredible movie. I mean, shit, why did I wait so long? Anyway, I have no idea when I'll be able to post normally so keep your panties on in the meanwhile :p

Tuesday, July 04, 2006

Even summer school can't keep me safe from terrible movies


Just a short wrapup of what I've caught in theaters and on home video recently:
Superman Returns- Total letdown. Like I've told others, technically not a bad movie and pretty well done by today's standards. It's just not a good Superman movie. Spacey plays an excellent Lex Luthor but nothing really new happens here. Technically his third time against Luthor and Supes is still falling for his kryptonite tricks. Give me a break.

Cars- Cute picture with it's heart in the right place. Unfortunately it's the worst Pixar movie by default. I have no desire to pick this up on home video.

An Inconvenient Truth- I took a class on weather and climate last semester and learned a whole bunch of stuff I thought would be completely useless to me. It filled a requirement and I got 4 credits for it. Well, Al Gore decided to make a movie about global warming and reiterated every single thing I learned in that class. The only difference here was about 400 dollars in tuition. Anyway, I'd recommend it to anyone who likes 90 minute powerpoint presentations.

16 Blocks- Remake of "The Gauntlet" except this time it's in NYC and the prisoner isn't a prostitute. Pretty good except Mos Def can't act for shit. Bruce Willis plays the stereotypical drunk cop with an everlasting headache. Definitely worth a rental.

Andre the Butcher- Complete turd of a horror movie with Ron Jeremy of porn fame as the main baddie. A total shit biscuit that should be avoided at all costs. I'm almost positively convinced that Arrowinthehead.com received a bribe for the positive write-up.


Hopefully these next few weeks will make up for it when Scanner Darkly, Pirates 2 and Miami Vice come out.

Saturday, June 17, 2006

I sell off crap so I can buy more crap

Summer school is killing me and leaving me with little free time to watch anything at length. I suppose this is what television was made for.

Today marks the last day of the Deep Discount DVD sale (until the one in November that is). I made about 4 orders and still have a handful of titles I wish I had picked up. I can wait.

Here's the complete haul:
The Wild Bunch SE
Altered States
Kingdom of Heaven DC
Grindhouse Classics 2-Pack (Bone, Fight For Your Life)
Snakes and Sinners 2-Pack (Venom, God Told Me To)
Thriller: A Cruel Picture
Prince of Darkness
Buckaroo Banzai
the Stuff
Q, The Winged Serpent
Beastmaster
Cemetery Man


I'm mostly excited about the new Cemetery Man disc. I caught it once when it played late night on TNT like 7 years ago. I'm sure they cut the hell out of it but what they left was still compelling stuff. Like I told my friend, it's an arthouse zombie film. There's really no other explanation.

The other movie I'm dying to watch is Fight For Your Life. It looks to be one of the greatest films regarding race relations ever made. Dr. King would be proud.

Tuesday, June 13, 2006

The Most Non-original Top 50 List Ever (38-31)


38. Sin City
I never got a chance to read the original Sin City books but with the release of this film (and the future sequels) there might never be a reason to. The deluxe dvd set of the movie includes the first Sin City graphic novel and makes it easy to see what an excellent job Rodriguez pulled off. I regret not being exposed to the series earlier.

37. Star Wars
If Lucas had never made the other 5 movies I would've still been a huge fan. Saving the princess from an evil tyrant was all I really needed. Add robots, spaceships, aliens and laser swords and you'll never have to make another movie again. Lucas made 5 more. I guess it is a shame he hasn't made much else other than Star Wars recently.

36. Total Recall
Another ultra-violent flick shone upon my eyes at a tender age. Arnold was the greatest action hero ever and when they put him in a smart movie like this, no one could talk crap. Special effects like the x-ray hall and the bald head bomb blew me and my schoolyard friends away. Images of a three-breasted alien and a midget firing off an UZI will never leave me.

35. Trainspotting
This was one of the first first movies I remember watching on IFC. I didn't really know much about it except that my friend had a Trainspotting poster in his bedroom. I figured it was a good idea to find out why. For the entire running time I was introduced to a world of drugs, sex, partying, friends, betrayal and fear. Oh and they all had funny accents. Anyway, this is one of those movies where every single character feels so real to you and it just sucks you right in to their world. Amazing stuff.

34. True Romance
I remember reading somewhere that True Romance was nothing more than a geek fantasy come true. I don't think it's very far off. I mean, finding true love in a Sonny Chiba triple-feature is a a thing of dreams.

33. The Warriors
I finally watched this in it's entirety last year. I really have no excuse as it used to play on TNT all the time. I knew what the "Come out and play" and "Can you dig it?" lines were about but I didn't really know what the context was. Today I can confidently say that Cyrus would have never been successful in uniting all off the gangs and probably deserved what he had coming to him.

32. Death Wish
I had such a rush watching this movie. Death Wish is the fantasy of every man who wasn't prepared for that mugger, burglar or common street slime. Bronson's character goes a little too far with his retribution but sweet Jesus the ending to this movie is pure poetry. In Bernie Goetz we trust.

31. Scarface
Another TV staple. Rags to riches stories involving the drug trade are always engrossing. Aside from all the glamor, I think what draws me most to the Tony Montana character is his sense of self-awareness. His "I'm the bad guy" speech sums up my feelings on much of life. Tony recognizes his position but he'll be damned if anyone makes him feel guilty about it. He's a victim of the American dream. That's really the key to understanding why so many rappers idolize this guy.

Monday, June 05, 2006

6-5-06!!!

From last week's NY PRESS regarding the Omen remake:
Among the signs of the coming Apocalypse is actual footage of the burning World Trade Center. You could see the audience stiffen when that footage ran at Lincoln Center. Fortunately, the film was banal enough that the disturbing imagery was soon forgotten. Except, that is, by one angry audience member who hung around to ask the director why he exploited a national disaster. Moore—who seemed far more pleasant than his repulsive reputation—made the mistake of trying to defend his 9/11 gag as artistic expression. That only prompted this critical insight from one attendee: “It’s a good thing that the movie is such a piece of shit that nobody is going to see it!” That prompted Moore to call the audience member a “thug,”....

Incredible. I don't blame the studios for capitalizing on the date however. It's 6-6-06 and letting that date pass without some sort of gloom and doom film about armageddon would be insane. Remaking the Omen in a time where everything is being remade was eventual.

As for the WTC footage, I really don't know what to say. I don't buy into the "IT'S TOO SOON!" rhetoric but I can understand why some people are upset. I still don't think that should give guys like Oliver Stone and the United 93 guy a pass.

That said, I'll probably catch it only to sneak into Da Vinci Code afterwards.

Sunday, June 04, 2006

The Most Non-original Top 50 List Ever (44-39)


44. Who Framed Roger Rabbit
This movie was a dream growing up later to be slightly tarnished by COOL WORLD. Don't get me wrong, COOL WORLD is...cool, but it went into weird cartoon fetish areas I was completely baffled by at the age of 12. That's also not to say I didn't have a crush on Jessica Rabbit, I mean she's not bad, she's just drawn that way. Anyway, a movie like this that portrays Warner Brother, Disney, MGM, etc licenses will probably never be made again. Thank God the results were incredible.

Minor sidenote: I was also a huge fan of the NES adaptation. Sadly, I could never beat the damn thing even after finding all 4 pieces of Maroon's will.

43. War Games
Probably responsible for my interest in computers at a very young age. The idea of being a hacker and "hacking" into the military defense computers was so cool. And to top that, his favorite game was Galaga! Broderick's character was the first geek I could look up to.

42. Ikiru
Probably my favorite Kurosawa film. It's just so beautiful. I think my favorite scene has to be the pachinko one where life is compared to the random drop of the pachinko ball. I hear the movie is being remade so catch it before Hollywood taints it.

41. Singin' in the Rain
I'm not a big fan of musicals but this one kicks total ass. The songs are catchy and the dance numbers are incredible. Gene Kelly is a god among men. I've heard this referred to as one of those musicals everyone admits to liking. Why aren't there more like it then?

40. Toy Story
I was a big toy person as a kid so seeing a movie where they came to life when their owners were away was a blast. Not only did they come to life but they actually had dramatic relationships and aspirations (not to mention delusions). The scene where Buzz truly thinks he can fly and puts it to test counts as one of my most favorite moments in cinematic history. It pains me to see people rank Toy Story 2 as being better.

39. Back to the Future
Really the first time-travelling (not to mention the 50's) movie I was ever exposed to. Thanks to Family Ties I was already a big Michael J. Fox fan and seeing him skateboard and play a guitar made him insta-cool. Chalk this film up as another reason why I became obsessed with sci-fi.

Saturday, June 03, 2006

Full Metal Jacket trailer

I'm just testing this video posting thing out. I'm sure that inside every Iraqi there's an American waiting to get out too.

The Most Non-original Top 50 List Ever (in no particular order whatsoever) (50-45)


I think this is a good way for me to just throw my interests out there and see what sticks. When approaching this list I began by just writing out the movies that meant so much to me while growing up. A lot of these were watched in their Pan and Scan glory via WPIX 11 and WWOR 9. In my high school years I remember watching tons of crap on TNT and TBS. Joe Bob Brigg's Monstervision was a godsend for geeks like me. Mondays would consist of my friend and I debating on how IMMORTAL COMBAT was pure shit and probably killed Roddy Piper's career after the awesome THEY LIVE.

It really wasn't till senior year that I started going to the theater on a semi-regular basis. The Magic Johnson theater in Harlem happened to be the only theater (and still is) in Manhattan to have an actual matinee ($7.50 before 2pm). This coupled with the lax security and internet movie schedules provided us with enough knowledge to watch at least 3 films a visit.

We don't do it as often these days but we always try squeeze at least one extra flick per visit. It's only fair.

I'd also like to mention that summer of 97 when I found out that the public library was a virtual goldmine of free video rentals. While others went out on exotic locations or boring summer school, I stayed at home watching as many films off the AFI list that I cold find. That list really payed off as I learned and experienced so much from it.

Anyway, I had all of this in mind when writing my list. When I had it all down I was short by about 11. I can recognize a good film when I see it but that doesn't mean I want to watch it again. A good film for me has to be one that never becomes stale and sticks with me long after viewing. If that means I became victim to the various merchandising campaigns for some of these films, oh well, blame it on the generational gap. You should also expect a couple of what people call "guilty pleasures". I call bullshit on that term and I don't feel one ounce of guilt while watching them.

So yeah on with the list(50-45):

50. Pinocchio ('40)
Probably the first Disney film I remember vividly. The ideas of wishing, the inner conscience, trust, honesty and artificial intelligence were great lessons to ingrain into my mind at the age of 4. Pleasure Island still freaks me out and I intend to sue Disney some day for the psychological harm.

49. Bladerunner ('82)
Similar to Pinocchio in the sense that talking marionettes and androids are the same in my mind. Bladerunner was one of those movies that really got me into thinking about how the future could be. According to Ridley Scott, the future is the love-child of Times Square and Chinatown with flying cars and robots. In other words, perfect.

48. Fight Club ('99)
It turned me onto Palahniuk. I think the guy is great but I can understand the criticism he gets. Just about all of his books read the same. Fight Club seems to be one of those movies where you look at it artistically and appreciate it yet your friend looks at it a completely different way and also manages to appreciate it. Let's just say that Fight Club is a lot more than just dudes slugging it out in basements or as a friend put it "sweet fights".

47. Alice in Wonderland ('51)
This is the other Disney flick I grew up watching a lot. There weren't many lessons for me in this one but I can attribute my fondness for blondes to it. Wonderland helped me realize how bizarre and nonsensical stories could be yet still prove to be fun and worthwhile. It's connection to modern drug culture isn't much of a surprise with all the mushroom eating and robotripping. For the record, I think the Cheshire Cat was an asshole.

46. Lawrence of Arabia ('62)
I really regret watching this entire epic on a computer monitor but I had little choice. I watched it after reading Frank Herbert's Dune and immediately made parallels between Paul Muadib and T.E. Lawrence. I'm a big fan of these stranger in a strange land movies. Post 9/11 I think it's just one of those movies that show how silly ethnocentrism can be. I also can't forget mentioning that desert reflection scenes. Pure beauty.

45. Full Metal Jacket ('87)
I've spoken to a lot of people who love the first half but usually shut it off right after the big bathroom scene. R. Lee Emery is incredible and justifies the price of admission but are you really gonna miss the "Me so horny" and "Too boo-koo" scenes? Yeah, I guess the film takes this nosedive into exploring the duality of man and leaves a lot of people confused or disturbed. I think it's perfect.

(to be continued...of course)

Friday, June 02, 2006

Welcome and Mutant Blessings!


I've just begun and I'm a little rusty with the Blogger software so please be patient. This journal will essentially serve as a film log of everything I've managed to watch and whatever I associate with that. It might be good (It's really more for me :P )

The only film I can comment on at the moment is X-MEN: THE LAST STAND. For some reason they decided to forgo the "3" in the title for what I can only assume was to help everyone forget how awful the last 2 were. They weren't awful but they weren't "SPIDER-MAN" good either. All three X-men movies have turned out to be big and dumb summer flicks and judging by their fans, I can't really argue with that.

No, I didn't like "Last Stand" but I also didn't hate it. It's fun and I stayed wide awake throughout the entire thing but holy shit, the disregard for life! Mutants die left and right with no regard for sequels and spinoffs. I understand that we have a bevy of characters to play around with but you don't go killing people essential to future story lines!

Of course, these are comic books and well, we all know Superman didn't stay dead for long. I wish they would stop making X-men movies and just get it over with by making the Wolverine movie. If I can admit anything about these movies it's that Hugh Jackman rules as Wolvie. Hook that up ASAP.

X-MEN: THE LAST STAND
@@1/2 out of 4

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Random Musings:
*I don't use Netflix like all the cool kids do. I kind of enjoy those in-store rentals they hook you up with every week. I think I realized why I got them though--BB Online is going down the shitter. It's a story heard over and over again about how everyone had wonderful service with quick 1-day returns and everything on their Queue would magically be shipped in the order you preferred. Well, now they're shipping whatever they want to ship and they hold discs when they should very well be shipping them out to me. If I send 2 dvds back and you receive both at the same time, why don't you ship back 2 at the same time too?

Even though it sucks I'm still watching the movies I want to watch...just not in the order and frequency that I'd like. I'll admit school has kept me busy so I can't really rape these guys like I wanted to but that's still no excuse. I'm happy so long as I can get 10-12 rentals a month out of them. So far so good.

*I got my my copy of Kingdom of Heaven the Director's Cut from Overstock.com the other day. It arrived crushed. When I called for a replacement, they told me they were sold out. WTF? I should've stuck with Amazon.

*I'm still mulling on the final name for the film club I want to start at my college. I'll probably settle on something simple like "The Hunter College Trash Film Society". I think I can get a lot of people through the door with that one.
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Coming Soon (or stuff on my "to watch" pile):
Pushing Tin
Patton
All the President's Men